A Letter To My Sister In Heaven

To my sweet sister Lonnae,

It took months to find the words I wanted to say. To feel the feelings I wish I never had to feel. There are still so many unanswered questions I remember like it was yesterday. The day I received the call I remember racing to get to you. Holding you and praying that you would wake up. Sadly, God had other plans.

There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think about you wishing I could talk to you one last time. Ask you how your day was, share pictures of Graicen with you. I was hoping that this wound would heal but it’s far too deep. Despite the pain, I feel I’ve learned that no matter what trials we face we must continue to move forward and keep faith in God. I am so grateful that God blessed my life with 21 years of your love. Your genuine heart, your encouraging words, the tenderness of your love it was taken far too soon but I will cherish it always.

“You left me beautiful memories. Your love is still my guide, and though we cannot see you. You are always at my side.”

Some days I find myself smiling, crying tears of joy thinking about our greatest memories. It’s no secret I was obsessed with you seeing how I followed you to college and followed my little sister around, YES MY LITTLE SISTER! I remember the days we would get out of class at noon and eat lunch together at the Union and the days you would have to skip I would be so upset because I had no one else to eat with. I remember always knocking on your door and disrupting your floor because I was bored and you’d tell me “It’s quiet hours, if you don’t shut up I’m kicking you out my room and off the floor.” - RA Nae haha. I remember holiday breaks when we went home and bored over the week we would prank call and I’d always make you do it because you were wayyy funnier and we would pick on mom because it was fun to do haha! Growing up anytime we would get something alike we would *dink it* and say “Same Thing.” All of the memories so many of them swarm my mind on days like today. It’s funny because growing up we fought so much and it wasn’t till we got older that we learned to appreciate each other. In the last days, our lives were changing so much only God knew what he was preparing us for. The night before you gained your halo we joked about you being my Valentine and how my baby was an alien sucking all my blood because that was our sense of humor, you were so excited to become an aunt to Graicen. You suggested I name her after you and I laughed and told you "Yeah Right," well... you got your wish. I am honored to name her after her aunt she will never get to meet but I can promise you she will never stop hearing about you. I want you to know because of you I faced one of the most difficult times in my life. You are my support, my ally, my entertainment, my audience, my critic, my best friend. You are my best friend.

As I continue to honor you, I want to thank you for all that you’ve shown me. For all the uplifting words when I felt like giving up for all the things that needed to be said when no one else would say them. For always believing in me and helping me reach my goals. I’m so thankful I got the chance to experience a love a soul that was so extraordinary. I’m honored to be your sister. And WOW the legacy that you left behind... it lives on. Whenever I’m given the opportunity I promise to always share with people how driven you were. How bad you wanted to be successful and was doing everything to get there. But more importantly how selfless you were, how you wouldn’t tend to your needs to be able to tend to others. You went out of your way many of days to cater and show love to others. Sometimes it frustrated me, I didn't understand it why you would never take care of you but always showed up when someone else was in need. Now I get it that was your purpose. You went to school to study how you could help others and took on a job doing just that but if anyone knew you they knew it wasn’t a “Job” it was your passion it’s what you enjoyed doing most, helping others. You did your assignment what God called you to do I guess that’s why you had to leave so soon.